Hilarious Excuses Swimmers Have Tried To Pass Off On Their Coaches (Archive)
Because it is always good to laugh, we bring back some of these excuses that were actually uttered.
You’d be lying if you said you’ve never racked your brain to come up with any–and I mean any–excuse to get out of going to practice.
“I’m sick.” Chances are you’ve already used that one…more times than you’d like to admit.
“I’m too tired.” True, but that one won’t get you out of anything.
“My shoulder hurts.” Please, be a little more creative than that.
“My alarm didn’t go off.” Oldest trick in the book.
Although excuses are the easy way out and act as a barrier to success, I’ll admit, sometimes the most creative excuses result in a good laugh.
Here are 11 of the funniest excuses college coaches have ever heard:
1. “I had an athlete who was heavy into astrology and informed me that they could not make practice as their daily horoscope had forewarned them of an accident awaiting them. I didn’t see them for three days until the ‘danger’ had passed.”
2. “I had a first-year swimmer who texted me to tell me that he could not start preseason with us because he got a tattoo and ‘it went bad.’”
3. “I had a swimmer leave me a voicemail at 4:15 a.m. telling me the airline called to say that her flight was going to leave two hours early, which meant she couldn’t make the last workout before winter break.”
4. “We actually had a kid this past year look at us and say, ‘I was just hanging out with friends.’”
5. “I had an international swimmer tell me he missed practice because of bad dreams.”
6. Coach: “Did you train over Thanksgiving?”
Swimmer: “No.”
Coach: “Why not?”
Swimmer: “It was too cold out.”
Coach: “How cold was it?”
Swimmer: “I don’t know. Maybe below 60 degrees. I didn’t go outside.”
7. “The swimmer was too full from the trip us coaches took them on to the Cheesecake Factory.”
8. “The best one from last year is ‘Sorry I couldn’t make practice, I had to break up with my girlfriend on Skype.’”
9. “The swimmer came to the pool and realized that they left their suit and equipment bag back in their dorm. They went back to the dorm and it was locked so they did not come to practice.”
10. “I had a swimmer tell me they couldn’t come to practice because they were up all night long studying. It was a Saturday.”
11. “I had a swimmer, in the middle of winter, wipe out on his bike on his way to early morning practice because it was too slippery. When I asked why he rode his bike in the snow, he admitted it was to hopefully wipe out and not be able to practice.”
Props to these swimmers for thinking of these creative excuses, but my guess is that they didn’t go over too well with their coaches.
All commentaries are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Swimming World Magazine nor its staff.
